5 years

Dear Papaw,
It has been almost five years since you died.  Seems like yesterday while at the same time seeming like much longer.  I've decided I'm going to do my best to honor your memory and move along with this grief thing.  I'm sure I'll always be a little sad around the first week in April.  Your absence leaves such a large void.  But, I'll do my best to remember what you taught me while here and what you are still teaching me now that you are gone.  Thank you for always being that quiet presence in the background.  Thank you that any of us (your children, grandchildren, anyone really) could come to you for direction and be quieted and comforted in your presence.  Thank you that you loved each of us so much.  You always loved us no matter what.  You might be disappointed in our behavior, but you never seemed disappointed in us.  Thank you for standing up for me.  I noticed.  I will always remember my asking you for advice and you telling me, "I won't tell you what to do, but I'll support you in your decision."  Thank you.  I'll also always remember me asking you to give me away at my wedding.  Your reply, "I won't give you away, but I'll walk you down the aisle."  Thank you.  You always made me feel accepted, loved, wanted.  Thank you.  I miss you, Papaw.  A lot.  I've wondered over the last five years why your favorite Bible verse is "Be still and know that I am God."  I think about it a lot.  I'm learning.  Little bits and pieces, but I'm learning.