I would like to tell you a story. This is a story about an overweight mama trying to become healthy, lose weight, walk the dog, spend time with her children, find a job, etc. No pressure. Well, it's Monday. This mama had a pretty productive day of job searching and doing laundry, cooking dinner, etc. She decided to call her daughter home from her friends' house and have her walk the dog with mama. So, off they go. They get a few driveways down from home and are stopped by a neighbor to talk a bit. After 5 or so minutes, they are off again. Dog is happy. Mama is happy. Daughter doesn't really want to walk, but she is going along. Then . . . Mama steps on uneven pavement, turns her ankle, and starts to fall. Somehow, her mind remembers her self-defense class last summer and she remembers how to fall . . . and roll. Except she doesn't stop with one roll, she has several because it is downhill afterall. So, she checks for all things broken or bleeding and catches her breath while daughter collects the water bottle and the poop bags for the dog. Oh yea, dog is attached to mama by the leash so mama doesn't really know if she rolled over the dog or if the dog was smart enough to get out of the way. Of course, all this happened in slow motion. No broken bones. Nice road rash, but not horrible. Mama is thanking her self-defense instructor for making her practice falling over and over again. Mama is not sure where the extra roll came in. Mama is just glad she did not hear, "FAT MAMA ROLLING DOWN HALF MILE WAY" or see it on the Half Mile Lake facebook page later. So, bearings collected and pride crushed into the pavement, Mama and Daughter start off again. They come upon people in their driveway talking with other neighbors in a car. They see a little girl with the neighbors in the driveway. Little Girl is running in the yard and jumps up on a rock. Only Little Girl's legs are seen as the rock is under a tree. Mama's 70 pound lab/pit bull mix freaks out, backs out of his harness (YES HARNESS!), turns around, and starts running back up the street. Daughter starts running after #$@%#$%^ dog. Mama cannot run so she starts yelling at @#$$W%^ dog. FINALLY Daughter stops chasing #$%^^^& dog and @#$%^#^&% dog stops running. #$%^%^&**& dog is harnessed again and Mama and Daughter decide to return home. Daughter says, "I think these are signs from God that we are not supposed to walk the dog tonight." Sigh . . . So, Mama, Daughter, and @#$%^^& dog return home where Mama spends the next 30 minutes seething and icing her road rash and bruise. Mama is still thanking the self-defense instructor for teaching her to fall. Mama wonders if the neighbors on Half Mile Way watched all of this happening. In slow motion. Mama is sure these people wet themselves from laughing. Well, Mama has taken a shower and is going to bed. (BTW, Mama did not have a sippa anything before all this happened - see last post.) Monday 20,000. Christy 25 (because I know how to roll baby!)
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
I know how to roll . . .
I would like to tell you a story. This is a story about an overweight mama trying to become healthy, lose weight, walk the dog, spend time with her children, find a job, etc. No pressure. Well, it's Monday. This mama had a pretty productive day of job searching and doing laundry, cooking dinner, etc. She decided to call her daughter home from her friends' house and have her walk the dog with mama. So, off they go. They get a few driveways down from home and are stopped by a neighbor to talk a bit. After 5 or so minutes, they are off again. Dog is happy. Mama is happy. Daughter doesn't really want to walk, but she is going along. Then . . . Mama steps on uneven pavement, turns her ankle, and starts to fall. Somehow, her mind remembers her self-defense class last summer and she remembers how to fall . . . and roll. Except she doesn't stop with one roll, she has several because it is downhill afterall. So, she checks for all things broken or bleeding and catches her breath while daughter collects the water bottle and the poop bags for the dog. Oh yea, dog is attached to mama by the leash so mama doesn't really know if she rolled over the dog or if the dog was smart enough to get out of the way. Of course, all this happened in slow motion. No broken bones. Nice road rash, but not horrible. Mama is thanking her self-defense instructor for making her practice falling over and over again. Mama is not sure where the extra roll came in. Mama is just glad she did not hear, "FAT MAMA ROLLING DOWN HALF MILE WAY" or see it on the Half Mile Lake facebook page later. So, bearings collected and pride crushed into the pavement, Mama and Daughter start off again. They come upon people in their driveway talking with other neighbors in a car. They see a little girl with the neighbors in the driveway. Little Girl is running in the yard and jumps up on a rock. Only Little Girl's legs are seen as the rock is under a tree. Mama's 70 pound lab/pit bull mix freaks out, backs out of his harness (YES HARNESS!), turns around, and starts running back up the street. Daughter starts running after #$@%#$%^ dog. Mama cannot run so she starts yelling at @#$$W%^ dog. FINALLY Daughter stops chasing #$%^^^& dog and @#$%^#^&% dog stops running. #$%^%^&**& dog is harnessed again and Mama and Daughter decide to return home. Daughter says, "I think these are signs from God that we are not supposed to walk the dog tonight." Sigh . . . So, Mama, Daughter, and @#$%^^& dog return home where Mama spends the next 30 minutes seething and icing her road rash and bruise. Mama is still thanking the self-defense instructor for teaching her to fall. Mama wonders if the neighbors on Half Mile Way watched all of this happening. In slow motion. Mama is sure these people wet themselves from laughing. Well, Mama has taken a shower and is going to bed. (BTW, Mama did not have a sippa anything before all this happened - see last post.) Monday 20,000. Christy 25 (because I know how to roll baby!)
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